Versions

My stepfather turned 100 on Friday and we had a beautiful family celebration. I know, 100!, right? But this isn’t about him, though he is a wonderful man that has had a very rich and full life.

I observed something as everyone shared their very touching and moving tributes of the importance he has had in their lives. What struck me, beyond the incredible love in the room, was that every person had a unique and special relationship with him, and their description was through that unique lens of who they are and how they experienced him. Essentially, each person shared a version of my stepfather as they knew him.

We are all seen so differently by different people, and those versions of ourselves are often reflected to us, in compliments and feedback (solicited and unsolicited I might add.) Sometimes we are bright, insightful, caring. Sometimes we are abrasive, thoughtless, boring.

But who are we really? How do we begin to integrate all these different versions of ourselves into an identity that feels complete? How do we view ourselves without being hampered by another’s version of us? And how do we update those old versions that no longer serve us?

Moving into later life can be an amazing time for this guided and supported reflection. We owe it to ourselves to honor this stage and this level of work to appreciate the richness of our lives and who we are, but also to discover who we still want to become.

What version of yourself have you outgrown?